Maybe it’s time to start introducing romance back into your lives.
As a reminder, romance is selfless. Romance doesn't have any expectations. Romance is patient and tolerant. It doesn't benefit you. It benefits the person you are romancing. When you romance someone your goal is to make the person you are romancing feel loved, valued and cherished whether you gain or not.
A while back I suggested celebrating her job. Maybe you could take another look at my suggestion about a “Mommy is Amazing Dinner” where everyone gets to say why mommy is amazing.
Before you plan the evening—first ask you wife if she is available to spend an evening with you and the girls. Don’t tell her why. Tell her it’s a surprise and you will give her more details later. But right now you just need to know what night (if any) is perfect for her. Once she gives you the permission to set the date then proceed.
Have your daughters create an invitation to the “Mommy is Amazing Dinner” for your wife. It can be hand written. Computer generated. Whatever they want. Remember—it’s about their amazing mom. But make sure they do it the way they want to do it. Even if it looks messy and silly to you...it doesn't matter. This may be something your wife treasures forever so leave it alone.
Make sure the date and time is on the invitation and everyone signs it. Then have the girls give the invitation to your wife. They will love this. In fact, they will be very excited. Girls love this sort of thing.
You might want to discuss with the girls whether you want to make it a “formal” evening so they can play dress up. Now—Dress up is different than church clothes. “Dress up” is about the drama of your outfit. Let them seek your wife's input on their clothes. They know what they are doing.
This will get the girls giggling and take pressure off the evening…which is perfect because you don’t want it to be “too” romantic.
Also let the girls decide the menu.
Chances are good they will pick absolutely ridicules items. Go with it. But make sure you put something your wife completely loves on the menu as well. The girls will go on and on about how you let them decide the menu. And if they don’t give you credit for the only item you choose you can whisper to your wife, “You can thank me later for the (insert the only edible thing on the menu) later.”
If the “Mommy is Amazing Dinner” isn’t your style, think of something that is.
The point is to start engaging in behavior that make your wife feel warm, accepted, part of the family and loved by you.
