still holding on - 4

[PeterV2]

Well she admitted she introduced a third person into the marriage and she's sorry.
First of all you have you forgive her and tell that you do.

You can also admit that you were a bad husband but you need to back that up with examples and then follow that with an apology for your role in the decline of the R. You need to face those faults and change them. In your changes you must be consistent and constant. She will see those changes but will say too little too late, or I don't believe they will last. "If I come back to you, you will just go back to the way you were." That's the script. I hear it every other day. But once in a while she'll refer to the way I "used to be". So even though she's still spewing the script there are signs there's a shift happening in her perspective. And her perspective is everything. It's only been 11 months so it's still fairly fresh. Really. Check out MWD's youtube videos. Some of them are truly eye-opening.

And take care of yourself. Exercise 3 times a week. Eat well. Keep a PMA. Laugh with your kids. Go to a comedy show. I lost 30 lbs and I look great. My kids even commented that my gut was gone. I had a bit of a ponch a year ago. Now I'm ripped. 40 minutes of weights and 20 minutes of cardio 3 times a week. Takes discipline but after 5 months I started to notice a difference. Now other people are noticing. And I feel great.
Wear a nice cologne. I learned about Mount Blanc Legend from this site and I wear it regularly, especially when going to see my W. She has noticed. (Actually that's one of Sandi's rules). Stick with the program. Keep your spew jacket handy. And whistle while you work.