It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore...

[fthnluv]

Ok, so a couple of things, I realize I cannot trust him financially. I *may* end up getting less by fighting him because I will, for sure, have to use up some of my savings to fight it. I do have a lawyer in PA and have hesitated to hire one in CA because it's a $5000 retainer and if the PA agreement is as good or better than I could get in CA (based on internet research and consultation, assuming his info is true) I don't want to waste $5k.

The issue being here is **IF**, I have no real idea how much he has made over this last year. I know last year because I have the 1099's (he's self employed) but he *says* this year is much less. The issue here is that I have no way of knowing what his 1099's are this year yet, of course AND the type of business he does he can very easily hide $ in either OW's account, cashing checks or by simply not collecting it from his subcontractors yet. I *could* hire a forensic accountant but that would cost $5-$10k to maybe find nothing, he works from yellow manila files and it is very easy to simply hide some of them.

So, my point being, since it is so easy for him to hide $ and I can't really afford to spend $10k of the savings I have when I need to protect my kids financial future, do I risk it?

Not to get too personal, but here's what he's offering, based on $180k gross income (he says, last year was $250k):
Child support $4050/mo until age 18
Spousal Support $3500/mo for 6 years (this I want to negotiate, in CA it would likely be 10 years to life based on need and 19 years married)
He pays all life insurance policies $230/mo
He pays all kids private school, now $850/mo will be $1500 in 2 years
Retirement plan for me $500/mo for length of spousal support
He keeps all personal property in PA
I keep all personal property in CA (better for me I think)
He keeps all his bank accounts (and WILL NOT disclose values of past or present)
I keep all joint accounts (which he knows about fully, worth about $8k total)
I keep my $19k in savings from insurance business he had me close last year
He keeps Lincoln Navigator, valued at $14k
He keeps F150 valued at $8400
He keeps all value of his business (which is VERY unknown, it is based solely on his efforts, construction consulting)
We each keep our credit card debts (minimal)
He pays all his 2013 tax liability plus old taxes he owes from prior business
He pays me $23k to pay my part of 2013 income taxes, we file married filing separately
I keep Buick, owing $25k on it, I pay for this myself

I know this is a lot of very personal information and maybe that is frowned upon but I want you all to know why I am so torn. Parts of this are VERY generous and parts, not so much. The 2 lawyers I have talked to and his are all saying this is a way better deal than I would get on my own ASSUMING what he is saying is true. The biggest issue I has is that IF and the length of spousal support, my youngest would be 9 when it ran out.

And, KML, you are so right, I need to stop getting him to hang out with me and COMPLETELY detach. STAT!