It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore...

[ericmsant2]

I think knowing the answer to the question as to whether the OW is pregnant is pretty darned important:

Not disagreeing - just giving another perspective ....

a) You ask, he lies - you find out later.

b) You ask, he tells you none of your business - you find out later.

c) You ask - he says no - how does that make you look/feel

d) You ask, he tells you yes...she ends up losing the baby later.

I guess my point is, I am not saying NOT to ask, I am saying understand why you are asking and accept that at the end of the day, he may lie and you may never know it until later.

It may influence your willingness to stand. For some people that's a dealbreaker, for others it's not. But if it's a dealbreaker for you, better to know now and incorporate that into your plans re: separation or divorce

I agree that it MAY impact your willingness to stand. I get that. In term of how to incorporate that into your plans re: separation or divorce - Me I would plan for the worse and hope for the best. In all cases, protect YOURSELF.

Tactically it may affect how you see h's behavior or how you approach him on certain things.

If I understand the sitch....he already is living with OW - I believe that how you approach him is the same - living with, dating, sleeping with, etc. That is just my opinion. I am not saying I am right.

Just asking may put a seed of doubt into H's mind about the wisdom of his current path (i.e. if he ran away from home to avoid responsibility, he may not have thought about the possibility of OW saddling him with NEW responsibilities just like his old ones).

As much as I can see this point on some level....I am not sure that the LBS has much say in the MLCer coming out of the crisis.

IMO, you should make choices YOU want for YOU NOT as a result of HIS choices or his answers. That just my 2 cents.