Is it too late?

[123Gwen]

I reread all the posts. MrBond - I apologize. I was confused and was responding to Cat04's post in regards to manipulation:

"I am a bit confused, because you said you want to remain married however you are pushing hard for a separation.

While I understand protecting yourself, from what you wrote, it seems to me that it is more of a manipulation tactic to keep him from filing for a divorce."

I would prefer not to pursue a formal separation but it is necessary in my sitch. Laws in 2 different states and being a SAHM mean that I must establish jurisdiction in case H files. Also H has cleared out 401k and wants to buy a new car. Separation establishes boundaries and keeps debt separate. I can't move forward until these issues addressed.

As for communication. H is very quiet. I think we both coped rather than communicated. Also I have been giving H space for the last 3 months knowing all the stress he has felt. I did not realize OW was an A but believed it was platonic. I supported his running. I gave her a going away lunch when she left the company. I was naive.

MrBond - I am sorry if you think I am being disrespectful. It is just that right now I am having to make decisions based on his present behavior.