BD and 6 months later PA confirmed (2)

[Bunches]

I agree that I have to stop the evening calls for my sanity for now. They have caused me to gradually get attached every week. Little things said about what is going on in her life give room to the idea that things are changing in her mind and clearly that isn't the case. At least not to the expectations I'm allowing to form in my mind. She tells me about her day and talks about new friends at work or problems she is having socially. I try not to shut her down when she wants to talk about things. Perhaps she has just been trying to be friendly to maintain a more open door policy with getting to talk to our S.

When I slipped up yesterday and got into the topic of not having tried to work it out I got all the usual responses again. "I tried for years and can't do it anymore...its been a year now and I think its time we both move on with our lives...maybe if the separation had happened a few years earlier we could have worked things out".

The trouble with keeping in touch with S is that he can't do it on his own. S is autistic and can be fairly good with facetime where he can see you but even then he just ends up mashing the end call button right away. He doesn't seem to understand the point and since he doesn't talk outside of repeating single words at a time I don't know that he even gets what is going on when we sit down for a phone call. He can use his IPAD for games and starting his music but those apps are designed for his needs. I think if S could manage a phone on his own I'd just put one up and let him answer it on his own at that time of night. Its just not that easy for him.