Lost

"Thank you for your advice. I know she is having a PA and she knows I know it. She just needs to admit to it.

How are things in your sitch?

Per DB, I am focusing on me and becoming a husband only a fool would leave. Right now, I know she needs space. She needs to think. My wife is going through a MLC (turned 40, father just died, trying to juggle a very demanding job with being a good mom, coaching sports, etc.). This A is an escape for her from the stress of life. I recognize that things have not been great in our M, but they were not terrible either. It is totally salvageable, but she needs to want to save it".

Sorry it took me almost 2month to reply to your question, I've been super busy with work and my daughter.

Yes my wife is back after 9 month of her brutal affair. I'm guessing she finally drank some holly water lol, and decided to end it 3months ago. She's now willing to do anything to win my trust and affection back. I still struggle with the way I was treated, the lies, her manipulative ways to get money and sweet ride out of me, which in most part was planned with OM. I'm not sure I can trust her again, but I'm willing to try with my eyes wide open.

Divorce is never easy, but it's one of those life events that deserves a serious postmortem examination to figure out what really happened. I went through hell dealing with my W affair shodan. I almost lost everything, my home, job and my mind. And from that failure and experience I've learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. (Patient)

We tend to learn best from failure, and when a marriage fails or affair surface you're certainly primed for a lot of learning and self-reflection. On the surface, my marriage had all the makings of something that should work: no abuse, no money problem and we seemingly got along great. But if I'm perfectly honest, we sucked at actually dealing with issues.The distant and disrespect was another factor. Looking back on the whole experience, I've walked away a slightly smarter man. DB was for me to work on me and be the best man I can be for my daughter.

I'll be blunt here shodan, you wife need to enjoy her affair for now. You can not stop it! Nothing you do will change her mind until she's ready to stop it. Shodan also need to take care of shodan. Keep the focus on you and the kids, detach, and take care of your kids. She will come back but when she's ready to come back.

Last edited by Lost!; 10/27/14 04:03 PM.