What is going on in their heads?

[Mozza]

These mixed signals can be traps. We get our hopes up, show our obvious desire to get back together and they shut down the door on us, apparently regretting their openness. I really wish a veteran would come to give you proper advice here. Have a look at the 37 rules or the books for inspiration, perhaps.

To put myself in his shoes: when I left my gf of 5 years a long time ago, I was full of guilt for causing her pain and I hoped that she would be happy without me, but I had no desire to go back with her. I know this is not hopeful, but at this stage of selling the house and just getting with the OW, I doubt he'll give your what you're hoping for. This is already a lot and I'd see it as a baby step. Perhaps something to be hopeful for a later time.