This is all difficult, and as UR says, we all do it in our own way at our own pace.
Yes, I felt as if I was totally jettisoned from my old life - rudely, in both sense of the word!!
As I understand it, when we are first injured, physically and emotionally, we go numb, and even vague and dreamy - it is part of the coping mechanism that enables us to go on. After a while though we need to feel the pain in order to do what is necessary to heal.
In fact I can now see what happened as a huge opportunity for me to change my life. I am a bit older than you and I have embarked on a new career - it is great fun. I do all kinds of things I didn't do before, and am going to learn to ski next!!
I take good care of myself, and have a great mix of old and new friends. Sometimes I miss what I had, but that is understandable - in fact I think it would be weird if we didn't miss our old lives.
The other thing is that I have learned to be grateful for what I had, as well as what I have now. A long and stable marriage, and all of that - how amazing to have had a beach house that you went to for all of your life! How amazing to still be on friendly terms with your SO - even if he is in another relationship.
Your mother was difficult, but you did the best you could and you know it. You didn't walk away. You garden, you craft, you are a great person. The old has served you well, but now is the time to move forward - opportunities can present themselves if we are open to them - but not always in the way we think.
