Not sure what else to say. You seem content to throw your hands up and say "what can I do?" instead of fighting to see your children with every fiber of your being. That is sad to me.
If the order of protection is dropped tomorrow AND she still resists letting you see your kids, what plan do you have in place? Have you already spoken to your L about the immediate next step? Are you prepared to implement that next step immediately? Or is the plan to first start figuring all that out.
I really don't mean to bonk you when you are down, but this Mama bear's hairs are standing on edge thinking about how passive you are with regards to your kids.
You can do better, right? Make a list of the next three things you need to do to get yourself back into your kid's lives (because it's about THEM not you).
