Mighty - I agree that the OW appears to be calling the shots on what is happening in what was our marriage. What an ugly thing to do. It is especially hard when there is a baby too - most of us do not have to face that one! However it is what our xh's decided to do. No-one made them. There are men who have gotten into an affair, which resulted in a pregnancy, realised they did not want to end the marriage, and manned up, provided for the child and worked on their marriage. it really is a choice. It is your xh who allowed OW to call the shots.
I think quite a lot of us here went through a period of 'blaming' or holding accountable the OP - they are responsible for what they did, and our former spouses are responsible for their own actions.
You are an amazing woman, and handling this so well. It is traumatic and deeply upsetting, and the lack of any sense of shame seems astonishing to us. I would be hiding behind shrubs and dodging any encounter in their place, but they seem so darned brazen!!
Anyway I do know of several cases of men who left their spouse, fathered a child with new woman, and when diapers and teething struck suddenly realised that it wasn't quite the 'fun' they had envisaged.
Your life is going to get batter and better from now on - there will be hiccups, and blips but that is the human condition. As for them - a relationship begun with deceit and lies probably doesn't have a promising future. But you know, it isn't our problem!
