BD and 6 months later PA confirmed (2)

[Bunches]

Seems like I've failed to follow the DB rules again. W called today saying she wanted to talk. She wanted to 'inquire' about the D. I started by letting her know that it's not what I want but that I couldn't stop her and she would do what she needed to. Of course I slipped when she got emotional and told her what I thought again. I said that I thought we needed to try and she responded by saying she had tried and was done trying.

I should have expected this after she had a weekend with some friends who probably asked the state of things and told her that she would feel better once she moved on with her life. She told me that she felt like it was time we both moved on with our lives. Told me it had been a year and that was enough. Feels now like she has just been waiting because someone may have told her se should just to see if anything changed.

I feel now more than ever that I just need to walk away from all of it. I've been giving it a few extra days trying to be sure I was ready to stop talking to her every night on the phone so she can say goodnight to S. I can't do it anymore. It would be one thing if I was better at detaching or if S was getting something out of it. But he doesn't. He never even wants to...he just gives me back the phone immediately every time now.

I'm just done right now...