Sorry to hear about your mom and your niece. Prayers to you and your family.
"I know I come off as a complete jerk towards her, but I have found this to be my best personal defense."
That's the "worst" personal defense. Have you gone to C for your anger issues? If you're planning to date and want to end the M, why haven't you filed? You seem to rely everything on what other people do rather than doing it yourself.
Take the reins and control your future.
Thank you for the prayers. They are very much appreciated
I did file. I am the one that pursued all of the divorce process. We have anchored down the parenting plan, child support and parenting schedule. The only thing left on the table was a settlement. W, no longer has an attorney. She feels that I can simply have my attorney finish up the paperwork and finalizing. She placed that in my lap, while she makes wedding plans. I do not find it in my best interest, to pay my attorney to do all of the work, charge me hundreds and hundreds of dollars, just for the opportunity to write large checks made out to STBXW. So, I am just letting it sit for now. Perhaps she will have a different perspective on her wants and needs, as the wedding draws closer. That is what I have been thinking. OM is financially secure. Maybe she will eventually just cut bait and go. This is what I am hoping for.
I want to say, that I do have feelings of anger. I also have feelings of happiness, loss, love... but they do not control my actions. How can I not feel anger? While I do know that both of us played a role in the demise of the marriage. I feel that she is the one who left. She is the one who (in a very short period of time) introduced my daughter into another mans home. I do feel that some of the people and actions that surround wife are not a positive influence on my child. I feel that W, MIL and OM have publically portrayed me as the "bad guy". That makes me angry....on the inside. I am not acting on that. I feel I am keeping it holstered very well now. I do forgive W. I understand that her reality and mine were not the same. I realize she is doing, and has done, what she feels was the best thing. I accept that. I will however, treat W in a completely ambivalent way. I am not unreasonable, nor do I say or do anything negative towards her. I am always completely open to compromising with her in regards to co-parenting. I do things, such as send pictures of daughter, on occasion. I am open to her questions and suggestions regarding parenting. I just do not act in an engaging way. I don't wish to speak with her, for the most part. I don't wish to become her "friend". I don't wish to learn about her soon to be MIL. I am not interested in what her life with OM entails. I am not interested in HER life. I am interested in my daughters life, and that is where things stand.
