Raliced, I had no idea you are so tall! I'm 5'2" so I'd have to look WAY up to see your steely gaze but I heard you loud and clear.
I did have things more together earlier on in the process. I'm not sure what has taken me off that path. I know who I am and what I stand for but I don't really know how all that fits in the world without my family complete, you know. I know I can stand in my own but I don't want to and it's THAT that's holding me back. I've stood on my own from a young age and I'm done with that. I'm tired of standing on my own, only able to rely on myself. I guess I'm fighting that but I need to stop and be more accepting. I'm not great at acceptance. I want to be though.
I need to treat myself better. Yes. More than facials and manicures. I need to reframe my thinking. Stop wallowing or allowing myself to go there. I need to vacuum more when I start to wallow... At least then my house would be cleaner, right?
I am doing the work, you're right. And no matter how many trips to Santa Barbara for wine tasting or NY to see the leaves change, he has to do the work. He has to see his role. He has to own his part. He has to find his own hope.
I just don't believe in him enough that he will do that work and THAT'S what hurts. Will he do the hard work or take the easy road? I hate that I already know the answer.
So, outside of manicures and facials, how do I treat myself better? I need details, specifics.
