To me, filing for separation makes a lot of sense...if in your state this will protect you financially. I regret I didn't take action sooner--especially if this man has moved 2000 miles away.
Gwen,
Accept wherever you are today. This moment is what matters. I think it too soon to dissect your marriage and figure out exactly what went wrong.
You are still in the shock/shattering stage where your previous life is in pieces and you're sorta looking around at the wreckage. I remember feeling like my H had taken our lives together and violently shook it up and dumped it the broken bits at my feet.
The bottom line: the marriage you knew is over. That doesn't mean there is no hope...it just means that it's time to reinvent yourself, as you have been.
Trust your instincts. You aren't crazy and you haven't imagined the situation.
Be really kind to yourself right now and give yourself credit for the changes you have made. It takes a lot of courage to pick up the pieces and move forward after losing someone you love.
I believe that the end of a marriage, in this way, is a bit like experiencing a suicide of a loved one. For my two girls and I, we lost someone we loved and, in our case, he never really looked backwards.
None of us was a perfect spouse, just human beans. Don't bludgeon yourself with the Woulda Coulda Shoulda's.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
