I'm sorry you are in a difficult place. We all know that it totally sukks and that you can't be *up* all the time. I do know this. Regardless of what happens, you will be fine. As a matter of fact, you can be better than ever. I realize that isn't a huge consolation at this point, however it is true.
Most of the *changes* I implemented post BD while my xh lived at home were more touching and $ex. I thought that we just had a SSM. However, h prattled off a new list each day and some things he mentioned were flat out ridiculous. I don't tell you this to make you feel bad, I just mention this because he said "he knew I was trying but I just wasn't that kind of person." And I never dreamed he was the kind of person who would up and walk out on his family. However, that really doesn't matter at this point. And while I hate to say what your h says doesn't matter, that's his story. You must focus on you and your D.
Congrats on your new job. I think that's a nice distraction and a great way for you to meet some new peeps. Enjoy him helping out around the house and with D. What does it mean? Who knows? Enjoy it and it's okay to cry. I still do as well some days.
Hang in there!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
