What to do. My D has just been with W but then my D ditched her to be with her friends in town . Then comes home and asks can I stay with mum tomorrow night .
We have no agreement about custody etc but I'm reluctant to agree because it seems a bit short notice and D will be round there next weekend when I'm working nights .
Help what should I do . Worried I'm just doing it out of principle or maybe a boundary I have set myself about requiring some notice about where daughter is staying
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
South- earlier in your thread didn't you say D was having a hard time with her mom (all the stuff about who was going to go to her showcase?). If this will improve relations between them you should allow it - just set the expectation that she shouldn't always expect to do this on short notice.
That's what's causing problems . D was supposed to spend time with her mum in town but instead went of with her friends after spending only 30 minutes with her mum. And then asks to stay over tommorow night .
I did say to D that what she did was wrong and that she was supposed to spend time with her mum.
D is aware that she can't just drop it on me about seeing mum and the same goes for her friends especially for sleep overs etc . I just asked for a few days notice especially when there is no proper agreement . I think it's best for D to not be able to pull strings to get her own way and also learn about boundaries.
For instance next week she may or may not be spending a day with her mum depends on what day W is free . How can I plan anything with such up in the sir attitude .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
This time I'm putting my foot down which to be honest is a 180 for me and saying no. Was planning to take daughter to the cinema so will just carry on with my plans .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
It's get better . So I'm working today and need D and S to go to W for dinner she is staying at MIL and she has told kids they can't because she is going to a works piss up. So much for her I will drop anything to see you both . Anyway kids have made other plans with friends and relatives . This is one crazy circle
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
Hi south. Think you hit the nail on the head. CRAZY. How can they change so much. Sounds like you are doing the best you can. Keep strong for the kids , have them be able to look back in 10 years and say you acted correctly at all times. Take care
Rd500 it truly is crazy . Working out next week with the kids and they are arranging sleepovers with friends etc and then daughters says "I'm supposed to go shopping with mum one day but I'm busy all week" . Felt like saying to her that she will have to cancel one of her sleepovers to see mum and then thought I'd better not say anything . It's hard but need to let them sort this out themselves .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
Hi South. Yes mate. Seems they have convinced themselves life will be better without us and most times I hope it will be but the little devil on my shoulder whispers that he hopes she crashes and burns. ( figuratively of course) lol
My W text me last night to " check all ok ". And then just phoned 10 mins ago to tell me she didn't sleep and proceed to have a 10 minute call about how well I was looking after kids. I often wish she would detach abit more to make it easier for me.
I can tell from your posts you will continue to hold I and that's incredibly strong of you take care
I think that all the time I don't know what W is doing I will be strong and stand in hope she may come home one day . I feel I need to do it for myself and my kids . Kids are happy and so am I at the moment so limbo doesn't seem so bad . Think it helps that I'm not aware if W is with OM or not .
Only issue is waiting for W to possibly drop the bomb that she is in a full on serious relationship with him , and then having to deal with the kids being upset all over again .
Limbo limbo limbo
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
