Let me start off by saying you and my grand-sponsor both are freaking relentless. Thank God for that too.
"The reason this sentence is significant is because your first sentence says you did not provide a safe environment for your wife to discuss issues of emotional importance. Your second sentence says your wife made other complaints--which I assume had lessor emotionally components. You don’t elaborate but my guess is these things were probably minimized, argued, or ignored."
My grand-sponsor and I identified this fact that I have not been providing a safe haven for my wife to discuss things and feel safe, last month. It has been a huge issue that has compounded itself over time. I definitely have shame and guilt about this. And yes, plenty of other concerns have been brushed off and minimized. My wife has such a diametrically opposite personality to that of my ex. She placed such high demands on things to better me and to better us, because she absolutely did care. In return I acted like a child and and addict. So I have a ton of work cut out for me in the moral inventory and amends department.
As for the tattoo removal, I know it's too late. I know I should have, and I have zero expectations about her reaction to it other than I think there will be some anger. Especially when the discussion turns to why I chose to do it now, finally.
My wife attends Al-anon regularly and has a sponsor and I just left an NA meeting 20 minutes ago so this will be something she can identify and relate to.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
