I'm no vet, but I would take it a step further: our anger comes from the wrong place. It might just be what got us where we are. It's a continuation of the behavior that lead to the break up, a confirmation through our actions. It's part of our desire to control our W and hence ourselves (quoting my shrink here).
The day my W walked out, I realized I had no control over her anymore. Just like that. I can't attract her by being angry at her. I can't be in a healthy relationship with her if I'm angry when she leaves me because she hurts too much (my sitch). Being nice to them is not about setting up a trap so that we revert to control and anger when they recommit. It's about changing ourselves and be a man only a fool would leave. It's about being genuinely not angry, just accepting their perspective.
I encourage you to read about anger management. Even if you don't have a problem, I find it surprisingly instructive.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
