Need Help!!!

[errod]

My wife and I have been married for over 16 years we are 35 years old. So we got married at 19. We have a 14 year old daughter. Everything was great until a few months ago, but even then I thought we just hit a rough patch and will bounce back shortly. Well on July 23rd we were sitting outside and we were arguing but I didn't think it was that bad and my wife said to me that is it I am leaving you. I was totally shocked by it and could not believe she said it. We are still living under the same roof as of right now but she says it is only because she is trapped. We have our current house on the market and we bought another house that is getting some additions put on before moving into it. (The house plans were in motion long before the bomb dropped in July). So she says there is no way we can get a 3rd place at this moment. She wants to move into the new house alone and me stay in the old house that we are trying to sell until it sells. At that time she will be able to figure out if she misses me or if I am just a liability.

Here are the issues that caused everything. We moved to WV from NJ 7 years ago for my wife to start a dental office. The plan was always that she would work and I would stay home and take care of our daughter. Well that worked out fine until a few months ago. At that time my wife started telling me I need to get a job and get out of the house, now this was only brought up when we argued so I did not take it serious. Well over time me not getting the hint caused her a great deal of resentment towards me. There were other issues that she brought up that were a 100% correct for example I did not pay her enough attention, I never complimented her and things like that. Also I have always been controlling (even though I though of it at the time as protecting.) I also did not do my part of keeping up with the house while I was staying home. I did not keep a dirty house but if my wife and daughter left clutter all over the place, I would feel disrespected and skip cleaning that day.

Well here we are about 4-6 weeks from the new house being done and the separation most likely happening, if I can't throw a Hail Mary. I love my wife more then anything and have committed the last 18 years to her (16 married). I have corrected everything that she complains about and have started taking classes to get my real estate license. I even just got a part time job at Fed Ex (even though she is telling me I don't have to take it if it is demeaning to me). I do keep saying the wrong things and I do come off as desperate. There are days that everything seems find and great but then she will tell me she doesn't know how she feels.

There are things she says that totally confuse me as well, especially with me being an analyzer. Like one minute she will say she can't sleep because she is afraid of living life without me. Of course I then say something like you don't have to and she then gets mad at me. The strange thing is nothing has changed with the way we live life. We still talk nonstop everyday, eat dinner together everynight, I see her at work on her lunch break everyday, and even have sex just as often with more kissing and stuff then before. But even through all that she tells me we need to separate to see if she misses me or not. I just feel like we are rolling the dice on our marriage rather then trying to avoid that step at all costs.

I really need help. Do you think this is something you can help me with? Am I expecting to much in trying to get results in the time period mentioned? When we first started this process of getting this house in February it was suppose to be our dream house, where we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Now it could just be the end of our life together.