Ugh. I know... or wait to see if I get to see her next weekend... I gotta ask, I think. Not that I expect to believe his answer fully.
Spoke to H tonight after he landed. We will meet at the pumpkin patch in the morning and then he will take the kids to his Mom's for the weekend and then he will bring them back and go do the pictures with the kids on Sunday afternoon and then go back to his Mom's overnight and come the next morning to get the kids to school and go meet to have coffee with his Dad.
Going back and forth to his Mom's takes an hour each way and that frustrates me from a financial standpoint. Winters are always tough in his business and I am scared about where that will leave us (not H) this winter with his other "priorities". He told me that he is not worried about it and that "I haven't been for a couple of years"... so not true, apparently he forgot last winter already.
I talked more than I should but did as much as I could with grace. There was a point of contention when he told me that he was planning on letting S8 ride in the front seat of his rental car. Technically, he is old enough in our state but realistically, he is very small (in the 3rd percentile for his age) and I am concerned that he could be hurt more in an accident in the front seat. I've always been sort of a car-seat nazi, making sure they are safe is my #1 priority. I told him that that will not fly and suggested we just trade cars for the weekend, he balked at that because I'm not on the rental agreement and what if I get in an accident? I told him that I was just not willing to budge on the safety of our kids. He then stated he would see if the seats could fit in the back and, if not, he would trade cars. I wish that didn't come up as an issue because it showed more of the old side of me that he does not like but I had to weigh that against my concerns about safety and the mama bear in me won. Oh well, hopefully I can show more grace tomorrow and the rest of the weekend.
S8 told me tonight that if Daddy did not want me to go with them he did not want to go with Daddy. I told him he could not do that as it would hurt Daddy's feelings and he needs to spend time with Daddy. I told H that we needed to sit down and have "the talk" with the kids because it was confusing for them, I am sweeping everything under the rug for the little ones but they see things too and that he needs to talk to them about it with me there. I plan to let him take the lead on this, with us discussing it beforehand so that he doesn't say things like "WE decided we don't want to be married anymore" when that is not true so that I don't jump in and say "No, YOU decided you don't want to be married any more, Mommy still wants to be". Not good for the kids so we need to come up with another way to explain it where I don't take on the blame for the D and they aren't damaged by an argument about it. I also said that we need to get this talk done so that S8 can no longer try to play us against each other, he needs to know that he will have visitation with his Dad and I need to know that he will go so that I can, one day, get a life of my own. H agreed.
I asked him about when he would be coming back to town again. He said he didn't know... lie! Maybe he IS just taking OW to San Fran for the weekend and not seeing the kids after all. Sort of a crappy move but better than trying to introduce OW to my kids at this early stage. I guess we will see what/if/when he says this weekend.
Me- 40 H- 41 S8, D5, S4 M 19 y T 23 Bomb drop 6/2013 H asked for/filed for D 9/2014 22 yo OW discovered 9/19/14 they're engaged and living together
