I don't think she has been trying to "stick it to you."
I honestly think if you both enter into marriage counseling you will find she has felt extremely unloved and believes you have not valued her feelings in this relationship.
I didn't know you have the wedding band of another woman tattooed on your ring finger.
Let me explain this tattoo from most people's perspective:
You can take off the wedding ring you married HER with...
...but your ex-wife's wedding ring stays on your finger forever.
That is quite a commitment you made to your ex-wife. You must have loved your ex-wife very much to make a commitment that has lasted this long.
The problem with tattooing your ex-wife's wedding ring on your finger is you can't modify it enough to satisfy your current wife. Some men try to modify the wedding ring tattoo by putting the current wife's initials on it so it becomes the "new wife's" wedding band and are surprised when this enrages the current wife.
The reason why it enrages the current wife is because it's not her ring. It's your ex-wife's ring. It is the same thing as wearing your former wedding band but scratching out your ex-wife's initials and replacing them with your current wife.
So, to put this in context, from her eyes...every day of your marriage you gave her the joy of looking at you wear the wedding band from your first marriage.
Don't you think that was a little annoying?
And before you start talking about how much you love her...stop.
If you honestly cared about her feelings you would have removed the wedding band. Without any question. Without a second thought. You cannot produce one good reason why she ever had to ask.
And, if your instinct is to explain to everyone why you couldn't remove your ex-wife's wedding tattoo-after you proposed to your current wife-so we will understand your side of the story...well...
I think that might explain how present you are in the marriage.
