Do I walk away from WAW? (2)

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Thanks zimmy, I have been reading your thread, I will take a look and see if I can offer my perspective. Sometimes I feel like I do t give very good advice here!

If I seem poised, it's only because I have already made it through what I hope is the absolute worst of this. The first month after BD was hell. I am not ashamed to say I even felt somewhat suicidal. This made me realize how serious I needed to take things, however, and I have made some solid progress since then. Finding the books and this forum, reading about affair fog, etc, really gave me the tools I needed to make sense of this. Also getting in with an IC and back on ADs was crucial. I think I have shocked my W with how quickly I turned around.

It's sadly comforting to know that I'm not the only one hearing these things. I try to look for the kernels of truth in everything my wife says. When she says "were too similar", I think that's her way of acknowledging the marital issues we share, that we would need to address together. I agree with her that we have problems in common. In general however, and especially right now, we could t be more DISsimilar.

About her affair: I honestly don't think she was actively pursuing one. We were having a stressful summer, she was distancing herself from me, checking out around the house a great deal, and I was withdrawing my love languages out of resentment (of course I had NO IDEA I was doing this until I read DR many months too late). I think she went out with a friend, met a guy, they hit it off and she wanted to fool around with him and started rewriting our R right there on the spot. On e it happened, she had to retroactively justify it by convincing herself our R must already be over. A week later we are at dinner and she's trying to sell me on it. We just stay in the house and start sleeping around, everybody's happy right? Wrong. 3 months later, here I am.