I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

And one last post to round out the day- MLC is so weird!

H came by to pick up stuff for S16 who is staying the weekend as they are doing a school fundraiser.

He was talking about different things and at one point asked if we could do the holidays together at my house. I said OK. He said "well you may change your mind as things progress. You may want to uninvite me by then".
So I replied " don't give me papers to sign on Christmas". He said he wouldn't, and that they might be done before then. Ummmm ok- looks like we are doing this.

Then talked about visiting his mom after Christmas as his brother wanted to arrange a trip. I had said that was fine but all the kids may not want to go with him. He commented he wasn't sure he wanted to go- didn't want to deal with some things. He said " do you want to go?" I said I don't know, I didn't think I was necessarily invited. He said " they're your family" ( very adamantly) and then said " they like you better than me- I just get called an a$$hole". I told him they don't like me better, they just don't understand your decisions, and I know they're my family too but I'll just visit them separately because you and I won't be family. He said we don't have to go separately, we might be D by then but we can just sleep separately.

Let me get this straight- he wants to spend the holidays together at my house and take a trip to visit his family as if we are all still family but we will probably be D by then? ( I didn't say any of this but it's so F'd up logic I can't even follow it)

He also kept fluffing my hair and saying happy birthday, asking me if I got the cookies he bought me since he wasn't sure what the " rules" are and wanted to do something nice.

Maybe I'll have a ReachingHigher moment where he will call off the D at 11th hour. But I don't think so- seems he really needs to do this- yet he really doesn't want to let go of me either.
I have one DB coaching session left, I haven't done it in months. Maybe it's time to chat with them. I'm just not sure what to do at this juncture. I'm not sure this marriage is DB-able.
What did I say above.... Letting him go??? yeah I s@ck at that!