Shining you are cracking me up! I too have been noticing eye candy lately... The guy at the Starbucks drive thru is freaking HAWT! And since I go there every morning he greets me by name and chats a bit. But alas- he wears a ring- and I'm not dating either. So I just drool into my coffee!!
So glad you are loving the job. That definitely heros keep me sane and feeling worthy too! Keep Rockin it!
Me 41 H 40 M 20 T 23 S 19,16, 8 D 13 BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015 Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
Oh, daring....the drooling into the coffee, I so relate.
I have lost all my "cool-points" somewhere along the road...lol!! That is, assuming I was ever in possession of cool points to begin with....
I have done more clumsy tripping, spilling, dropping things, realizing something is on my face AFTER I've been chatting with someone über good-looking..... It's truly hopeless, lol. I have become the epitome of "hot mess".
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement! Things are slowly getting better and better.
uR, I am certain you were drawn back here, and I believe it was to find me. Although I can be upbeat and I like to have fun on here....if anyone saw me in April and May, you would have thought I was a 97 year old catatonic bag lady. I was dying from the inside out. I never thought I would laugh again. It was dark. I was truly saved after coming here and finding you, uR. No other way to put it.
I have a lot that I miss in my life. I have essentially lost everything except my kids.
But....I also have so much to be grateful for. Life puts on a different "costume" sometimes. It looks completely different, but it's still a good life.
And the guy-candy????? Me lookin'???? Oooohhhh, mmmyyy..... I forgot how fun that is!! Best not get caught looking, tho....
Perhaps our friend Eric can give me lessons on subtly?
But H told me he went. He said he had a full work up on "everything", and he repeated the word, "everything" no less than 5 times.... Like a cuckoo clock.....
He told me the results of tests (true or not, who knows) and that he's healthy. He told me a few things this doc said, and meds he wants to try, and why...interesting.
I'm about to get my a$$ back on a plane for another hug!!!!
Group hug!
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He told me a few things this doc said, and meds he wants to try, and why...interesting.
What was interesting?
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Even if that happened, and even if H started going to IC....this mess isn't going away anytime soon. There is NO hurry to figure anything out, no matter what happens next. I refuse to risk major drama and setback nonsense while my s16 and D13 are still in my care. Nahgunnahappen.
Good reality to be sitting in.
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Asking me how often. With whom.
And what does THIS ^^^ tell you?
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I forgot how fun that is!! Best not get caught looking, tho....
Nothing wrong with looking….just be careful. I’ll pass along a word of wisdom that was once given to me…..
“temptation comes….when a door is INTENTIONALLY left open”
Remember your goals. You’ll be tested, you’ll be tried, whatever you do…..know why you are doing it. Never to lie to YOURSELF – just be YOU. Own your choices and live them.
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Perhaps our friend Eric can give me lessons on subtly?
HOT pink knitted half shirt with 6 inch heels….. subtle enough? Wait that's what I am wearing. ROTFLMAO.
Oh….. BTW, IMO, you’ve already won the battle…. You just do not know it yet. 
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hi, Cadet! Yep...H can't have anything be wrong with him. Seems to have stopped blaming me, but he still can't be accountable for anything, himself.
Eric, I found it interesting because H has continued to share his personal medical results, med changes, etc. with me throughout the S. In my first D, I would NEVER have wanted xh knowing anything about my personal medical business. Xh was the same in reverse. Just seems crazy to me that H gives me these details, yet wants to D me.
I'm not sure what his questions about travel tell me. He asks, and clearly is bothered by it. Jealous? Doesn't want me to move on? Idk.... I suppose, if it's making him think about things, time will tell.
Oh, and Eric....I am waiting for my pic of you in that outfit....
uR, yeah.....that Eric.
I think it's wise for me to not be making any decisions about men or dating. I really am enjoying time with me and the kids right now. I have a clear view of who I want to be. I also know I'm not there yet.
It will be a lifelong process....although, there will be a point where I'm far enough along to know when, or "if", it's time to move on.
When I get lonesome, or miss good times with H, I think about what it would be like to date. That said, I do entertain the thought....the "what if" part....but I am VERY aware of the fact that I am not emotionally "out of love" with my H.
Hypothetically, if I was over him, and dating, I would not want a man to date me if he was still in love with his wife. With that in mind, I wouldn't feel good if I did that to someone else.
