Ok, uR....stop making me cry!!! I'm about to get my a$$ back on a plane for another hug!!!!
The truth is, uR.... Any walking I'm doing on my own? Anything amazing to watch? Is because of the gift I have in knowing you, and everyone on this board.
I did my own work, (still have a long way to go) and I know better than to diminish that, because you taught me that, too .
The gift part, is that I believe, without a doubt, that it was because of your words and your way, your timing, your insane level of intuition, and your perspective....that I was able to RECEIVE the information I needed to have, in order to move beyond the despair.
I'm not done with the ride...I know there will be good and bad days ahead, but nothing like those first months. uR, you were the first person to post to me. I will forever be grateful to have connected here.
Ok....before I start packing any bags, lol....
My. Job. Friggin'. Rocks.
I love it. Love love love it. Cool things are happening. Details are not important here.... Other than I REMEMBER who I am. I remember what I can do. I am so much less afraid to be me. I've been putting myself out there a little more each day, and offering my opinion and experience. Get this.... It has VALUE. OMG. Who knew???
I have a lot to learn and figure out, but I can see so many areas that I can put my skills to use. The best part? These people are easy to care about. They are just real people. I can't even believe I have this wonderful place to work, less than a mile from my apartment!
Kids are doing well. S18 leaves in 10 days.... Ouch. Leaving that topic for now...
Hhmmmmmm.....what else, what else......there's was something.......ummm
Oh!
I saw H today.
He texted asking if he could pick up my check for car payment. I said yes. I met him out front and talked for a few minutes.
He told me he went to our family doc. The doc that has treated him for over 20 years, and me for 4. The same doc I saw this summer, that knows all. Knows MLC. Knows H S21.... Everything. This doc told me in the summer, that he doubts H will go back to him because they frequently change docs in MLC.
But H told me he went. He said he had a full work up on "everything", and he repeated the word, "everything" no less than 5 times.... Like a cuckoo clock.....
He told me the results of tests (true or not, who knows) and that he's healthy. He told me a few things this doc said, and meds he wants to try, and why...interesting.
I know this doc. He is a no-bs guy. He will tell you very directly to lose weight. He will tell you when he doesn't believe you. He will call bs. I would put money that he told H to get in C, and it is not an option. I didn't ask. I'm just being hopeful.
HOWEVER.
Even if that happened, and even if H started going to IC....this mess isn't going away anytime soon. There is NO hurry to figure anything out, no matter what happens next. I refuse to risk major drama and setback nonsense while my s16 and D13 are still in my care. Nahgunnahappen.
I'm getting to know me again. Today, I really started to see this time as a gift. I mean, REALLY really see the gift part.
I get to do so many things!!!
So, h asked about my job. I told him it was great. He asked a few more general questions. He knows I work at the HQ, and that there are satellite offices all over the region. He asked me if I would be traveling, and I said yes, some.
Then he got weird about the traveling thing....very uncomfortable. Asking if I'll like it. (How the he!! would I know yet??). Asking me how often. With whom.
It was strange and creepy. He has issues there, apparently.
Oh well!!! Not my problem!! It reminded me of how free I am to travel if I want, when I want, and WHERE I want!!!
. 
