Feeling So Resentful

[mustardseed]

Damn. I think you might be right, although I would disagree with the "ashamed he got caught" part. He really didn't get caught doing anything. His change came about after I went away on my own. I think he knew I was done. I also went to see a lawyer around that time, although he didn't know. But it was almost like he sensed it, because out of no where it was like he was trying to win me back. But then it all stopped. I think he was afraid of losing me. And our physical attraction is really strong and was really powerful around that time.

The suspected A is really a grasping a straws situation for me. I have no evidence and really--he is always home. So if he is or was seeing someone else he spent less time with her then he did with me. Part of me wants to believe it is an A because then it would make my choice to go so much easier. I'm not saying it is an absolute no, but I really don't have any real reason to believe it is true except for my imagination and his distance from me.

I think it is time for me to let him know I am not willing to keep this going anymore. His lack of support and care for the things that matter to me is so painful. I can't even believe this is the same man I married. I think I am done fighting for it. But I like that distinction that you make that he needs to be the one to fix it at this point. Words are not enough.