Gogofo - no longer piecing 2nd BD

[gogofo]

Never did get a phone call, felt like reaching out and asking what she needed but held strong and kept my distance. Did this twice yesterday.

I was going to Home Depot and saw her drive by on her way to the movies with the kids. We were supposed to go together, but oh well. Felt like sending a text that said "Movies! Have fun!", even grabbed my phone and started to type.

I hit the breaks and thought about why I wanted to send the text. I was trying to convince myself that it would be being a good neighbor to be saying "hey saw you headed to the movies, have fun!" but that is not me and not actually where my feelings were. What my message would have been is me shyly reaching out to be invited to enjoy the movie together. Took a couple deep breaths and went on my way.

Felt good about not sending the text, it was probably pursuing and acting out of emotion. Trying to keep on track with my DB principles.

So two unneeded text messages or phone calls avoided yesterday. Feel a little apprehensive about it now, but I am starting over again in our situation. The beginning is hard again because of the drastic abrupt drop in contact, the whole wanting and needing the contact part.

The first time we separated I needed to talk with her, now I want too. I keep reminding myself that when she wants to she will contact me. This is her timeline and I cannot rush her, if I do I may push her closer to D. I need to keep respecting her feelings about wanting to be separated, even if I do not agree with them.

I will have some sort of interaction, text or call, with her today as we need to find out what the plan is with the kids. I may have to reach out later today, but it will be because of the kids.