My parents split up when I was 14 so maybe I can offer some advice from D14's possible perspective? I would talk to her about your ideas and options. Although it may be scary and is not really a decision a 14yo should make, I think you can discuss it with her.
I would try to phrase it in a calm, rational way showing you are open to her ideas, input and suggestions and that you haven't made any definite decisions. Something like "honey, I've been doing a little thinking about our future and I think my work contract might expire in a year or so. I am thinking about what to do next and it might be a good idea to relocate to home state to find a new job etc. What do you think about that?"
If you let her voice her ideas and concerns it may help you in your decision-making process. As she is still quite young and upset by the actions of her father I would try to have the conversation in the most relaxed and casual manner possible. Just a chit chat over dinner. Nothing definite, just talk. Reassuring her that you prioritize her interests above all else.
And Ahoy, you are not a bad BDer. As Maybell said you are growing and learning from this experience and doing the best you can! And if this process has made you realize that you don't want to be with your H in his current state or that you are simply done with him then that is completely acceptable.
