Is this normal?

[elltee2]

This week WAW isn't coming back to the house, although all of her things are here. I am not sure if she is staying with coworkers and immersing herself in work, as she says, or if she is having an EA or PA. Maybe even a combination of the two.

I deleted all my social media but a friend texted me today to let me know she thinks there is something up with my wife and an OM. The OM is apparently a "rapper, singer, dancer" and they've had some suspicious exchanges online. It really hurts to think about.

I need to figure out if I am really willing to save the M. Here are a list of pros and cons to saving M, at least as I see them.

Pros:
Duty/responsibility of a M. I won't feel like a failure.
Honoring promises.
Won't feel so lonely.
Maybe we will feel what we used to feel together.
Maybe we were right and really made for eachother and just lot sight of what matters in the whirlwind of responsibilities and changes
Potential for fulfilling relationship for both parties emotionally and otherwise

Cons:
I may be better off alone. This is a major betrayal.
I'm still young...maybe she isn't right for me and I can meet the woman who is
Other than the loneliness, I feel more stress-free overall, and able to pursue my goals and enjoy more out of the house activities
It will be easier to get my finances back in order alone.
The house is much much cleaner and is starting to feel a bit more like home

The sad part is the cons are so much easier to write. My friends and family were all upset by how she treated me during the M and discussed it with me several times over the months. I did feel overwhelmingly ignored, vulnerable and insignificant because when she had to chose between time with me and time with friends or family, she always left me in the dust. I was often unable to go with her on these occasions because it was a drill weekend, but since I am an officer I get my own separate hotel room that she used to enjoy visiting. She stopped joining me a while ago. Also, some weekends she waits until she knows I am home and then just makes plans to leave, and I have to stay with the dogs. We have 2.

At the same time, it was comforting to have someone to come home to. When I saw her smile it reminded me of how I felt when I met her, all the hope and optimism and I was confident we were just in a rut and getting used to the house and new jobs.

What my gut is telling me is that something not okay is going on here, and I need to try to get out asap at least to protect myself financially. My fault or not, who knows? Maybe I drove her away or maybe it wasn't me and decided that married life at 23 with a house and a dog wasn't what she had envisioned. Either way, moving on seems so hard! Don't get me wrong, I legitimately have not felt the love in the relationship that I should in quite a while. I just thought we could get it back, and she isn't interested in trying. All of my friends and family are insisting I am so much better off, she took advantage of me financially, she lied about too many things (credit card issues, failed to make payments, her college degree). They tell me I am in a great position in life to go do great things and meet great people. Logically, on paper they are all totally right. But why do I feel this illogical despair? Why do I miss her?

The bottom line is we don't have the long history a lot of people on here have. We have only been married 7 months, so we don't have the track record to get her to come back. If moving on is so right, then why do I feel so torn up inside? Does anyone else has experience with this? Is it callous to just roll with the divorce to protect myself financially? Need guidance, please.