Tomorrow is my 2nd anniversary of the BD. At least I am in such a better head space than I was 1 year ago. I have a beautiful partner in vikingblonde. I have learnt to listen better, to speak my view better, to actually hear someone else's view, to accept their view. I am trying to be a better communicator in all avenues of my life: my Mum, my sons, my vikingblonde, my friends, even my students I deal with at school. I think I have reached, or at least very close to, accepting my W is on her own journey. I cannot change or help her achieve anything, it is her job to do that. I miss her, still love her, and will probably till my last days on earth, wonder why she chose this path for her journey. I will always wonder why she never asked to go to counselling, to confide in the chaplain about her thoughts, or even speak to the family members. I have accepted my part I played in this event. But I will not accept that I made her have an affair, or choose this outcome she made. That is her doing. I have accepted the way the family and our mutual friends have acted towards me, but do not agree with the way they did this. I have accepted the loss of those family members and friends. I do not want them to be part of my life now or ever. I am a new hotwheelsaust, a new person that my wife will never know or see. Someone she probably wished I was when we were together. It took me a long time to reach this point, but at least I was one of the people who did. I wish I listened to the vets and acted accordingly back at the beginning, but stubborn me thought my way was better. Reality is, it probably wouldn't have made a difference anyway, she was in too deep for anything to work. Onwards and upwards :-)
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
