Newcomer living in Hell

[bravo61]

just got back from vacation with the family. a great time was had by all (even W). the W loved the playlist. she said i don't know how many times that this was the most relaxing vacation we have ever had. she shared some things about some of her fears (heights, snakes, water-spec drowning). she even told how some of that was inspired by her grandmother. she was kind of insulted when i told her i noticed that she had done a great job of fighting the urge to be overprotective of our S while he was climbing some rocks. i was being supportive but she saw the negative. she didn't get to mad and saw the point i was making. bad part of trip was when we were near a suspension bridge and she was giving reasons why she didn't want to go up. i knew that she wouldn't want to and i offered to go check it out (for pic purposes) and she said "do i need to offer more reasons or just tell you no". told her ok no it is but she was upset that she had felt she hurt my feelings and teared up. i told her i was fine and hugged her. she was upset because she felt that she had shared a vulnerable part of herself (fear of heights) and i ignored it. she equivocated that that was sympnomatic of our relationship and that was why she had no trust in me. i told her i was sorry and i am getting better and continuing to work to get better. she said that the problem was just our personalities and "that's just how it is". i told her i can understand where she's coming from but anyone can be better if they want to. she complimented my wardrobe several times. she even sat by me several times of her own accord and laid down on the bed by me to plan next days activities. she kissed my D and i said "hey you just handing out sugar?" she smile and beckoned me forward and gave and accepted a kiss on the cheek. we went swimming and we were playing around and i grabbed her and told her i was gonna dunk her. she laughed and smiled while i held her in my arms (with her arms around my neck) and i dunked her and carried her around in my arms for a few minutes. after showering(after pool) she opened bathroom door (barely covered by a towel) and asked me to dress D in certain clothes. couple of times, i offered my arm (like an escort) and she took it while walking. she mentioned several times that the kids were being so well behaved that she didn't know what to think of it. i think my D was trying to play matchmaker. she would tell W that she loved her and then ask if W loved me and to tell me. W would say of course she did and that i knew that. W waited every night for good night hug and kiss on forehead before bed. i never brought up R one time and maintained happy, cheerful PMA the whole time. i treated each day as an adventure and it seemed to be catchy with the whole family. she even saw a bumper sticker from the skydiving i did (forgot it was in trunk) and was SO impressed. she commented that she couldn't believe that and i said simply that i'm all about the little adventures in life that i want to be in on. she really saw that attitude in my behavior on this trip. there was no whining, pining, anger, shortness, getting irritated by the small inconveniences on the trip. she mentioned how calm, helpful, kind, and considerated i was. i just smiled and said no problem.i was laying on my side and facing her resting. i watched her and she kept looking at me prolly 5 or 6 times for 5 or 10 seconds each time. on the way back today, she lamented having to cook dinner tonight. i offered to take them out and she jumped at that. she even asked if i wanted to go to a movie before dinner. during the trip back, she kept teasing me and several times i reached out and tickled her and she enjoyed that. S played matchmaker this time. he sat with a seat between me and him while D sat in my lap (W was getting a drink). W sat right by me and we laughed through the whole movie and kept nudging me at times and leaning in to whisper things. all during the trip she kept mentioning "the next trip" or "the next time we come". i did catch her checking out my package a couple of times when i was about to hug her. she even mentioned of her own accord how her "time" of the month popped up out of no where. and then i asked her the next day and she said that it was all over. kinda thought that was weird convo. when i left the apt tonight, she gave me a couple of big hugs and told me how good a time she had and that she knew it was more expensive that it could have been but it was a great trip. at dinner tonigh, my fortune cookie said that listening was my gift and it would give me a reward in the next month. i laughed and showed it to her. she said that it was true and i definitely listen to others now and she has noticed and it is a new thing. she got flustered cause she wanted me to know that she was complimenting me and i smiled at her and let her know if she meant it that it meant a lot to me and i'm gonna continue to and get better. don't worry, no expectaions. this was prolly the last trip as a true family but refuse to give up hope. anybody see any positives out of this interaction, or am i took close to see it? next step? go "gray"? not gonna call her or text her first or bring up R or D. we did end up posing several times for family pics and she posed for several pics for me (something she was reticent to do previously). i know even the pics with me in them, she kept in her phone and was pleased with them.