Trying to stay patient- part 6

[gogofo]

My point exactly: You're apologizing so YOU feel better. And if you're explaining, you're losing.

As others have said, let your actions do the talking.

All of this apology talk is very helpful for me. I was/am an over apologizer and my W would usually say that she didn't want my apologies. She rarely apologized herself so her's always felt genuine, mine probably didn't. Now I can see a better approach as quoted above.

I never thought about an apology just making me feel better, but I think that is my main motivation. I don't like people being upset at me so if I apologize I am freed of my guilt.

Good stuff too as I was thinking about apologizing for upsetting the W the other day. Now I won't. It would have just been an attempt to get her to reframe her views about me.