I've been having some flashes of anger. Some at STBX, some at the universe for allowing this. And the logical part of my brain keeps asking why? I mean...two people...why NOT choose to be loving and compassionate and committed?
Then I think about the reality of our M, and some of the things I did. If I had been her I probably would've made the same decision. So why did I act that way? Point is, I also fall short and did things that caused this type of pain and destruction. And while I can't take full responsibility for her choice to end the M and her actions since, I can't judge too harshly when I played such a large role.
As for purpose...look back at your life and see if you can find a pattern. I don't always know where to go, but when I look back at my life I see that competing (at work and with games) has been central to me. It seems to be what I do. I finally saw that and went with it. What are some things about you that have been lifelong?
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
