I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

Jack- you are such a legend in these parts- thank you so much for stopping by!!

I know I'm getting weary and need to purchase more patience shovels and dig deep. I am also really being triggered by the " withdrawal" of my H as well as the impact of this whole sitch on my kids. My IC agrees I'm on the right track addressing my abandonment fears. Going to do some EMDR work on it as well.

So what have I always wanted to do??? I would love to take dance classes and I would love to travel more. I'm working on incorporating some short trips here and there. I also love horseback riding and need to spend more time working with my horse that D13 and I share. I have also wanted to get in shape and find boot camp to be a great stress reliever as well as good for my health. I'll keep working on these things.
In the meantime- I turn 41 tomorrow. I bought myself a new dining room set for my birthday. I know it may seem strange, especially since I'm not much of a cook. But something about H having his new place and all new stuff made me want to have some things of my own that help this be MY house not just what was OUR house ( and could still be in future).
I'm envisioning having Thanksgiving dinner with that new furniture and focusing on what I'm thankful for b/c I know there are many in much worse places than I am. Time to remember all my blessings!