Feeling So Resentful

[mustardseed]

He did during that initial conversation. He was remorseful for what he put me through. He told me that he realizes that he can't expect things to just go back to normal and that maybe marriage counseling is a good idea. He said he will find a therapist for us. Still hasn't. I think enough time has passed where now I should find a few counselors and let him pick one from a short list.

Also a few weeks ago I made a comment about how distant I feel from him. It was during sex and it just came out. And he said, "well then that is something we need to work on." but again no action on his part. Not even the simple act of accepting my friend request on FB. Which seems like such a silly thing. I don't really need to be his FB friend, I am not on it much and I don't think he is either. But it is the whole idea that he says he wants to be with me and work things out and make things better. But even the simplist little thing, like accepting a friend request, he refuses to do--and his reason is "because you can't make me". Or he will play coy and say, "I'll do it when you least expect it." I don't want coy. I don't want games, or even flirtation. I just want to know he means what he says. If he has nothing to hide and it isn't a big deal, then why can't he just do it? If he knows it will bring me one step closer to believing he wants me to be a part of his life--then what is the big deal?

I think maybe it is time for me to push the counseling issue. At this point I feel like I have nothing to lose. And he can't have any excuses to not do it because money won't be so tight anymore. Although I am sure time will be his biggest beef. But then again, if he uses lack of time as an excuse then it just proves that I am not a priority.