I feel an update is in order now that I have some time to myself this evening. W is having a girls night (I'm sure that OM1 is not there).
Start with the bad news: - W still constantly looks over her shoulder while typing on her phone sometimes to see if I'm watching. Usually I'm not, but in the case that I do walk past, she exits out quickly. We have yet to talk about why she feels the need to do that, or the fact that I know her relationship with OM2 has been inappropriate at times. - I have my own GAL issues, given that I no longer have male friends to go out with, since they're all PCS-ing out of here. This makes me much more likely to be...clingy? Basically not the independent guy that would make me attractive to my W. - Intentionally or not, she has cut off my source to her conversations with OM2. Not a huge deal, I have what I need, but I don't know if those were fluke conversations or a continued theme.
The good news: - She has been open to me seeing her conversations with OM1, while not all of it, it's a step towards disclosure I think. Part of this recovery for me is trying to be more patient. She's not coming out with everything all at once, but slowly and surely there is more information that comes to the surface with every conversation, which have been more civil and understanding, even when we talk about her affairs and our marriage. - Both OM's have told her that her posting on social media have taken a toll on them since both of them are going through hard times and all they see are pictures and posts of us spending QT together or things about how we have been doing nice things for each other. It's clear to them that I am making a comeback I think. - W was quite open to taking the 5 Love Languages quiz and learning how each of us feel loved. We made it a fun afternoon discussion. Turns out we both share the need to hear Words of Affirmation and spend Quality Time together. I actually had those two plus Physical Touch all equally important. - That said, we have had a few more dates that went very well, one to a movie, and one where we just walked around a lake and went to a coffee shop. We talked a lot driving there and while walking, and we did in fact talk about our future. Not in terms of where I wanted to be or where she wanted to be, but she was specific in talking about where WE were headed next. That's different than in previous talks. She is also eager to join me when I talk to a recruiter about where my next job will be after I separate from the Air Force (next year).
What happens next: - I can't just let the suspicious texting go unaddressed. Luckily, this exercise I'm on ends tomorrow, then I have a three day weekend as a reward. It will be brought up. - Honestly that may be our only hurdle left, I know that I may have taken an unorthodox path to get here, but I feel (and think) that our marriage is getting stronger the more we talk things through. Plus I think knowing how our LL's match up and how to interact based on that is a huge help.
I might get raked over the coals for this post, but what are your thoughts?
