Im no expert so take my advice with a grain of salt. HOwever I have spent alot of time on here reading the vets advice on other threads. Each sitch is unique but the actions, reactions, emotions and ultimately the approach to handling the sitch are all the same. I am very sorry to hear your in this situation but I have to be honest. When reading you talk about your sitch it has been almost solely focused on the things you were so unhappy about. the things she did that you wish she didnt. The actions and attitude you wish she would change. Many people early on spend too much time wallowing in their own self pity rethinking all the things THEY could have changed or done to prevent this. Alll though uhealthy this reflection does give oppurtunity for correction which is where the 180's come from.
If your so unhappy with who your wife is why do you want to save the M? IF you want to save your M stop talking and focusing on what she has done or what changed about her and what issues she has. Thats for her to work out. you can only focus on YOU and change YOU. if everytime you go to see what you should change about you and you see a great guy who really had very little to be at fault for then you need to rethink whether reconciliation is a good idea. R fail because of two people not just one. In rare cases where a good guy M the wrong girl and he did nothing to cause it fail (especially with young marriages) than maybe hard as it is the thing needing to change is finding the right person.
In the end you have to focus on you regardless. you will never be happy till you truly find out what makes you happy. Like all things though its always easier said than done.
Me 38 WAW 40 S 10 S 5 M 5 years BD 10/04/14 S 10/04/14
