W just wrote "Care to have lunch soon to talk about kids, etc?" It was after I replied to her one-liner about some drama in the news (my parents think she turns to me every time safety is involved).
I can't see clearly and I can't bear the mere possibility that our R will take another step back. Last lunch date, it was mostly just chit chat with 20% talk of emotions, mostly from her. I controlled what I said, going no further than "I feel like a man who lost the love of his life" when she asked -- now it feels like it was too much. But my attitude was pathetic: I was tired and looked sad (but I dressed up and she noticed). I always thought she's the most beautiful girl in the world - I would say that often, not just to her - and sometimes I'd lose track of the conversation, just looking at her. This cannot happen again. I need to be upbeat, in control. I'm not concerned about fighting, as I lost all will to fight with her the day she said ILYBINILWY.
I've no choice but to accept her invitation, likely suggesting next week. A friend told me I could suggest something shorter than a lunch since these things can be handled quick. He's really afraid that I will crumble in front of her and destroy the little progress I made through days of painful silence. I'd rather get prepared real good and go through with it. After all, we're supposed to accept seeing them when they take the initiative, right? That's how we show (don't tell) our changes, no?
I'm outside of my comfort zone (silence) so advice is very welcome...
(thanks Little and Zimmy for the replies, I'll respond as soon as I sorted out this invitation)
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
