Rebuilding 1 step at a time

[Heart14]

Thanks for the prayers, Gwen. I'll take as many as I can get! I've found that prayer has helped me stay centered through this process so far.

Giving full access to my email or getting similar access to my W's email is unthinkable. We all have our secret garden, a space to think, communicate with others. It would just lead each of us to move our thoughts elsewhere. That your H has private thoughts, perhaps doubts, hurtful feelings, etc. does not mean he will leave you. It means he's human. Don't get yourself into a situation where you regret asking too much of him.

Thanks, Mozza. I needed to read that this morning. I have definitely struggled with putting H on the defensive by asking for more and more instead of appreciating what he's been doing. My DB coach made a great point, we feed what we emphasize. In my case, I was feeding my fears and essentially telling H, nothing you do is enough. Who wants to live feeling like that? Duh! I should have seen that, but I was too focused on my own pain. It's funny, I'm typically a very positive person, but I can see that in my interactions with H I was often negative instead.

Piecing is hard. We are working in the right direction though. I think time and continuing to accentuate the positive will really get us through this. Lord knows I never want to be back where we were!