I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

Yet another post.....
Interesting conversation this morning. Went to S7s parent/teacher conference and called H afterwards to tell him about it. ( he had to drive other kids to school). Was very good, I really like the school headmistress.
He said it sounded similar to what the headmistress had been telling him when he picks up S7.
Then we got on the topic of how she told him she's a lesbian and had a bad marriage before and is now looking for a new relationship. I was like geez- why were you discussing all this? He said he goes early sometimes and chats. And then asked "am I surprised that he found out everything about her? " ( he prides himself in the fact that people are comfortable talking to him even though he's not terribly social) I said no not surprised. He said what then? I said it's not a fruitful conversation. He kept pushing and I said it's annoying and upsetting. He said do I think there are things he doesn't know about me? I said no- then he said or is it more that I should be paying attention to you. Then he asked is it in general or that I'm not paying attention to the day to day right now? I said yeah in general but from before, not right now at all. I also said I'm working on some major issues that are wounds related to him and then the same wounds that have nothing to do with him. He said playfully- " what you want me to take responsibility for some of the issues?" He said I know- I know you're dealing with a lot. I said I hesitated to answer because I know you are dealing with a lot and I don't have any expectations right now.
He said I couldn't right now if I tried- I'm not able to do much of anything.
I tried to ask how he was doing, was he sleeping etc- he said sort of but don't worry about me right now.
Ok......not a bad conversation- I showed that I wanted attention from him at some point but I'm letting him be for now.

I'm thinking he's in withdrawal- he looked so tired and downtrodden the last few days. But I also see more maturity, more " trying to do the right thing".
I'm so emotionally exhausted too.
I think I need to take a mental health spa vacation.....