Gogofo - no longer piecing 2nd BD

[gogofo]

W came to house this morning to get kids ready for school so I could go to work. Not much of an interaction, I asked how her night was she said good, she asked back and I said good.

Back to dry interactions again, I remember how this was in January. Seems like she has had a large back slide to where she felt she was early on in our S the first time. Not sure the exact reason or if it was multiple little things again.

Wished we would have done work on us and our relationship. Reading the 7 Principles of Making a Marriage Work by direction from my coach. There are passages that give me hope and passages that hurt my heart, but it is apparent that we did not work hard enough on our past issues.

My current goals are to try and open up conversation with the W and increase how much we say when we interact. Try to build upon our friendship. The ultimate goal is to get us to be able to be with each other on our 8th Anniversary on November 17th.

Need to plan changes and steps in me that can facilitate this. I have identified a 180 I need to do. I need to be more expressive of my feelings. I am better than before, but I need to be explicit. When people give me comfort and joy and need to express it so they know. When I feel uneasy or confused or flooded by emotion I need to express this too.

During our attempted reconciliation I did not express my uneasy feelings easily as I was worried I would send my W running. I would find ways to deal with them. My emotional sharing had increased, but only with positive emotions about our R. I could express negative or difficult emotions about others or work stress, but not about us. Bad idea if we were trying to rebuild. Another reason I think we need MC.