Others will have to explain the conventions around here, but to me it goes like this.
Separation: spouse announces that the relationship is over. ILYBINILWY Bomb: spouse announces that she wants a divorce (I haven't made it there yet) Leaving home: after some sort of cohabitation, spouse leaves the joint home Divorce: papers are delivered or signed
Just chiming in to say I see a "bomb" as any kind of "this relationship ain't to me what you thought it was". Any kind of "I'm leaving" or "we're done" or "I don't know if I love you anymore"...whatever form it takes.
It's any kind of announcement that something is up and the status quo isn't business as usual anymore. If you're not expecting it, it rocks your world. Like a bomb.
Also, Mac, it's not over until you decide it is. If that's what you truly want, to let go, then that's fine. But it doesn't have to be over during (or even after) a D. Anything can change at any time, and your behavior can help or hinder that.
So long as you're breathing and willing, it ain't over.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
