standing for me

[Ahoy]

I don't know, ganb8te. I guess I am thinking in really black-and-white terms. But yes, if I move back to my home state, I would have no reason to move back to be near STBXH. All my work contacts, friends, and family are there. Everyone I love. I don't think I would put myself through the hassle of a short-term move, and there's nowhere else I want or need to be right now.

Of course, we can't predict the future. What if I meet someone new and we have an opportunity to move somewhere amazing? I wouldn't rule it out, but at the same time, I kind of learned my lesson. From now on, I have to put my own needs and my daughter's needs first. But I don't know how to balance the two.

We are looking to dissolve the marriage in January, so things are kind of done in my mind. I know some folks would say otherwise, and some people do have last-minute changes of heart. I don't see it happening in my case because my H is deep in MLC and doesn't want to stay married. And also? I am done with him and actually don't want to be married to him, which makes me a bad DB'er.

I guess the only reason I'm still on this forum is that, unlike H, I'm not willing to throw the M away without at least trying to work together to see what is possible. And if he asks for that, I will certainly try. But in my heart, I have moved on. He is a negative person and a negative force in my life, and life is too short for me to waste much more time on him and his emotional/psychological issues.

I'm feeling free and happy at the moment, in spite of wrestling with what the future might hold.