Why aren't you wondering how the heck YOU could have treated her so badly for so long?
I am, but there is a part of me wondering what it was that i did That badly. I mean the punishment fitting the crime. I fully understand that the affair happened due to my faults, but with all do respect she gave up - when does that become a fault. If an affair is betrayal, then there must be fault on her part.
If I am missing the point I apologize, and I am working on me, this was more of a side curiousness. I will abandon it if that is what is required.
That's the other point, I may have neglected the things I should have done and my responsibilities, but I did not treat her badly, incorrectly perhaps, but not badly.
