Need help. Scared, confused pt 3

[Jefe]

To answer your question—I don’t speak to the people on this forum because I don't want to commit to helping them. Yours is an interesting case. I honestly believe your relationship can be salvaged

My primary goal with you is to get you and your wife to a place where I can hand you off to a marriage counselor. Since it doesn’t appear you have EAP or insurance available I would like to see you both in pastoral counseling. It is free through your church.

I feel very special, thank you.
One of our pastors has certainly offered counseling. Our church is huge and we have a full staff of licensed practitioners at the main campus and the pastor has offered to send us there is we desire free of charge. So I appreciate that. I'm glad you think we have hope, too.

My advice is to send a text saying the following:

“Yesterday when you sent a text saying you missed the girls…I should have replied that they miss you….They do miss you. They miss you terribly. I should have told you this yesterday. And it was mean of me not to say this. I’m sorry.”

I will take care of that this evening. Lately she has been texting when she leaves the pool halls. That's in about an hour and a half and if she doesn't reach out, I will anyway. I am seeing exactly what you mean. I will just have to listen carefully and read the situation instead of reacting. Done.

I think you have been receiving very good advice since the weekend. My only caution is stay aware of well-meaning friends and family and the biased shoulder—even on this forum. People only hear your side of the story and are (understandably) on your side. This means the advice will always skew to your favor.

I have been exceptionally careful at the information I have given out regarding my wife and to whom. It's nobody's business, really, and it just makes things that much worse when you trash talk, then you reconcile. Most people know we are separated these days, they just don't have the facts. And they don't need them, either.

Yes. Like it or not. It is your circus. And it is your monkeys. You can join another circus with different monkeys but you will still have her in your life forever because she is the mother of your children.

You are very correct. I have no intentions of joining another circus and I love my monkeys, so I think I'll keep them.

You left me hanging the other day on your observations with her acts of service. I went back and I think I found what you are talking about. I also thought back over the years and I never really noticed it, but yes she does. You were going somewhere with that. What's your read on it?