Do I walk away from WAW? (2)

[1foot2]

Unexpected R talk. We got an email from our landlord saying they are looking to sell our house next year. We talked about that, then awkward silence. Asked as how she was feeling, she said better. She asked me how I was doing. I said I felt energized by the work I've been doing on myself. Feeling better than ever. Loving working out, educating myself on better communication, being more responsible and focused on things that matter. I paused, then told her that I knew my next relationship was going to be better, whether with her or with someone else. She asked to give me a hug and came and sat on my lap. We embraced for a long time. I told her I missed her, missed her smell. She said "I'm sorry you married such a wild heart". I winced. She said she just really needs this emotional connection that she doesn't think she ever had with me. (I am DYING) That she just needs to follow her own path. I said I understood that. She sat in my lap for another five minutes. Said she believed in me, that I was going to do good. She said "ten years is a lot of time", I said "it's only a little time". She laughed. She said "can I just say how amazing you've been with the boys, being there for them, going on field trips, making time for them. It's really really amazing." Tearing up the whole time. Before she got up, I said "can I just promise you, my changes are forever changes. I am happy with the new person I am. If you come back, it won't be our old R. It will be a new R." She said "well you have to let me go then." I said, "I have, even though it's been very painful".

That was it. I didn't lose it, didn't plead, I was calm and I was honest. And I could tell she saw I was sincere. I can only hope I put some things in her mind.

I am shaking. Someone help me see some positive here.