My wife sent me an email about the kids' costumes (I bought them this week-end). She asked me if I would be wearing one. I explained what I have and asked if she was wearing one. I was happy - not optimistic, just happy - about this casual exchange because we haven't had one in a few days.
My W never wore a Halloween costume and doesn't wear anything sexy. I'm now wondering if she set me up with her question. In any case, it hurts. I've already seen on Facebook that her plan is to do a pub crawl (6 pubs in one night) with her colleagues that night (I'll have the kids). My W who didn't like alcohol, who wouldn't dress sexy, who wouldn't dress up for Halloween... Who is she and why couldn't she be that person with me: I had nothing against costumes, alcohol and sexy. Seriously, what are the chances that this drunken evening doesn't end up in a bed? Sigh. Gotta be strong.
As most of you might feel, in my mind this is just my wife walking around, available to other men. It's not my ex, it's not an old girlfriend. I'm still so attached to her that it feels more like my feelings have soared through the sitch, my attachment is stronger than ever. That's what makes it so hard. And I have no power whatsoever to stop her. Anything I might say against it would push her further away. I have to take it with a straight face (or silence).
I did not make any mention of her costume in my reply. Now, let's go cry a little...
(Thanks all for your insights and responses. I'll reply later. Right now, I'm digesting the Halloween costume...)
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
