Fresh separation - trying to play by the book

[Mozza]

The topic of dating seems to be controversial around here. It's still something I'm thinking about. Certain get-back-together methods will encourage dating as a way to make the WAS realize your worth and that you might not be waiting forever. I know the fact that my W is getting all this male attention makes me see her through the eyes of new men seeing her for the first time (they're right: she's great!). Also, there's dating (going out) and dating (sex) and I'm never sure how it's understood around here. Some say it's enough to be seen in town with another woman. As my W left me saying we might get back together but shouldn't base our lives on this, I wonder why I should refrain from dating. It looks like a strong GAL statement, no? I'm not one to have an affair and I prefer my W over anything, but as with everybody, it did cross my mind that it would be nice to date (ahem) someone else before I die. This separation seems like a legitimate moment to do just that, especially as our spouses appear to be doing the same, and get it out of my system before a MLC hits me. If it's disappointing, even better! Oh and another argument: it's a human need, not just a fun nice-to-have. I've had long dry spells when I was single and I was surprised that it physically hurts, almost like hunger. I'm not sex-crazed by any mean, but we're not made of stone either.

I'm not hell bent on dating, but it does seem like an option with several upsides. Is it common that the WAS will rescind their green light to date and consider it a major impediment to a reconciliation?

By the way, my fidelity has never been an issue in my couple. My wife knows I'm rock solid on this and not even tempted (my friends make fun of me because I don't notice girls). So it wouldn't be a pattern for us, it would rather be a surprise.