-react poorly, start doing things they shouldn't like dating, going to bars, etc. retaliate to get back. Or try to control. -cant stand limbo, so they burn bridges to get it over with. Feels better to be in control even if the outcome is negative. -don't take ownership and blame the WAS. Easy to call them crazy with how they act when they walk away. Easy to focus on them, very hard to grow.
If a LBS avoids those things and instead takes accountability, grows, behaves in enlightened ways consistent with their values thereby demonstrating their changes, and accepts the timelines involved because they are comfortable with their life...they have done their part.
As always, it takes two. WAS has to do the same things, usually later and oy if they do come out of the fog. When you think about how hard this road is its no wonder both partners are rarely able to do this. I, however, can live with doing my part and will accept what comes.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
